EUGENE, Ore. – On Wednesday, September 5th, the Oregon Duck announced his candidacy for the President of the United States of America. The Duck made his official announcement in a brief press conference at the University of Oregon’s Casanova Center in Eugene, Oregon, through the help of translator Jerry Allen.
The Duck feels like all Americans should have something in their life that makes them happy, and strongly believes that he is the fowl to bring America into a better tomorrow. “Greatness is not found on the amount of pushups one can do,” The Duck said, “but in the people they can push to be great.”
The Duck was born in 1947 in a nest next to the McKenzie River and was raised to be strong, motivated, genuine, fearless, and well-groomed. He was a simple duck that liked floating the river, dipping his head into the water, quacking uncontrollably, and eating breadcrumbs.
In the past century, The Duck has always seen his potential to motivate others while being a strong leader. He has brought the University of Oregon to new heights and standards and plans to do the same for his country.
Initial Rumors indicate the Duck will be running against Cocky, the University of South Carolina's mascot.
No effort was made to receive comment from Cocky at this time.
The Duck is carefully vetting potential running mates and hopes to have an announcement in the near future.